Letters to my unborn kids: Love
You will learn with time what a paradox is. Faith or love are tiny words. Tiny in length, yet they mean so much to us. As you go down the road, you will see they will end up being HUGE. Sometimes, they make and mean the whole world.
Love is also slippery. Soon as you try to catch it it will move away, and away. However, when you think it’s not meant for you, it will call your name. Quite simple, yet quite complex, since we don’t like to wait, right?
But love is there for us all. It works, it exists and it has so many shapes. However, respect the word. DO NOT love things. Do not use the spell lightly. You can love your pets, I give you that, but save love for people. For me. For your mom. For those who earn it.
Once I told a friend that friendship was quite like a plant: you had to water it regularly, otherwise it would die. If you manage to keep good people around you, love will start to appear all around. And you will recognize that good old unadulterated love. It doesn’t ask for a thing, it doesn't try to change you and it embraces you as you are.
But love also hurts. Good Lord how it hurts. I wish I could avoid that pain but inshallah you will be a resilient person. Someone who loves herself first and knows how to bounce back. How to be resilient. But it does, love sucks sometimes.
And why does it sucks? Because ego gets in the way mainly. But also because we are humans are we are commanded to make mistakes. To get weak, to go to places where we have no business whatsoever. But that’s the way it is. You go, you challenge yourself and sometimes you lose. When you go after someone, just like you are hunting (ego), you need to know it can work but there’s also a chance for failure. Be prepare.
Love is hard to explain. Everyone has his/her vision. You will have to come up with yours.
There is a little story I would like to share with you:
Children of the dirt by Simon Rich
According to Aristophanes, there were originally three sexes:
- the children of the Moon who were half-male and half-female;
- the children of the Sun who were fully male;
- and the children of the Earth, who were fully female.
Everyone had four legs, four arms and two heads, and spent their days in blissful contentment. Zeus became jealous of the humans’ joy so he decided to split them all in two. Aristophanes called this punishment the “origin of love”, because ever since, the children of the Earth, Moon and Sun have been searching the globe in a desperate bid to find their other halves. Aristophanes’ story is incomplete because there was also a fourth sex – the children of the Dirt.
Unlike the other three sexes, the children of the dirt consisted of just one half. Some were male and some were female and each had just two arms, two legs and one head. The children of the dirt found the children of the Earth, Moon and Sun to be completely insufferable. Whenever they saw a two-headed creature walking by, talking to itself in baby-talk voices, it made them want to vomit. Theyhated going to parties and when there was no way to get out of one, they sat in the corner, too bitter and depressed to talk to anybody.
The children of the dirt were so miserable that they invented wine and art to dull their pain. It helped a little, but not really. When Zeus went on his rampage he decided to leave the children of the dirt alone. “They’re already screwed”, he explained.
- Happy gay couples descend from the children of the Sun;
- Happy lesbian couples descend from the children of the Earth;
- Happy straight couples descend from the children of the Moon.
But the vast majority of humans are descendants of the children of the dirt. And no matter how long they search the earth, they’ll never find what they’re looking for because there’s nobody for them, not anybody in the world.
Did that last sentence sink in? In this story, the vast majority of humans are descendants of the children of the dirt. So what does that mean? Even if you’re buried deep in your loneliness, you are not alone. And in fact, there is someone for you all of the other children of the dirt who long for companionship, friendship and love, too.
In our loneliness, we often feel like there’s no one around who will understand us, or love us, or want to hug us, or go out for lunch with us, or any other number of “lonely person” thoughts that can eat away at us. You may think of yourself as “different from the others”. But you’re not, not at the core. We all long to connect. We all have human hearts put on this earth to love and be loved. And guess what? We all - even those surrounded by others – feel lonely sometimes.
So the next time you feel lonely, ask yourself what it would it take to help you feel less alone. I have a suggestion: Reach out to someone – an email, a smile for a stranger on the street, conversation with the grocery store clerk, call up an old friend you haven’t spoken to in a year. You may be connecting with a fellow “Child of the Dirt” and be reminded that indeed, we’re all connected, always, even in our loneliness.
The secret, is that we already belonged. Love, dad.